P R A Y F O R T H E P R E Y
A ROLE PLAYING CAMPAIGN
(Also posted on the Famous Role Playing Lines )
Finishing with another PC...
G.M.: "Okay, back to Maller--"
Maller: "--I shoot the Alien! ...ohh....sorry..."
Smythe: "There's not much I can do against a Queen."
Maller: "Synchronized bladder release with Holland?"
G.M.: "Okay, who's in back?"
Maller: "Hammerson and Erickson--wait....WHY?!"
OcDugal attempts the litmus test on an NPC. In front of the group...
OcDugal: "Lick this..."
OcDugal tries the test again...positive...BLAMM. He shoots the PC square in the head... Everyone sees this, including a new group of NPCs that don't know why this occured. He approaches the first person of this new group...
OcDugal: "Lick this..." <Click...cocks the hammer on his gun>
NPC: "No way in fucking hell."
G.M.: "An alien drops from a vent!"
Maller (bored at the cliche'): "Yeah, Yeah, Shoot it..."
The Doctor presents the other PCs with a litmus test to see if they are infected with an alien virus...
Maller: "Go see the Doc and lick what he tells you."
OcDugal: "Captain Smythe?"
Smythe: "I lick pulp..."
Smythe: "Oh My god! I'm a clueless loser!"
OcDugal: "When Grey died, the explosion took out the air scrubbers..."
Maller: "She's not the one who thought it would be fun to feed the alien blood."
G.M.: "You hear gunfire over the radio coming from the medbay."
Maller: "I leave a Sargeant-sized hole in the air."
<Aliens have taken over Anchorpoint...which includes a mall>
G.M.: "The alien pushes down some of the aisles, trying to get to you. It's still inside inside Radio Shack...Talk about pushy salesman."
Maller: "I toss a couple grenades in as I leave...The products will be about the same quality..."
Edlund: "Doc...Doc...Please...For the love of Christ, please don't play with mother nature."
G.M.: The Queen can't move. Its large and right in front of you. It has a base DC to hit of 5."
Maller: "I offload on it...full 60 round burst." <rolls....critical fails>. "sigh...12..."
G.M.: "Okay...You hit it seven times...even still...you should be ashamed of yourself."
G.M.: "Roll against your consitution. Tell me what you get."
G.M.: "Thanks..." (The GM rolls)
Maller: What you rolling?
G.M.: "For the NPCs..."
Maller (eyes perk up): "Oooooooo, that's the infection roll isn't it?!"
G.M.: "Okay, you see the alien virus taking over the blood sample at an alarming rate."
Maller: "You should not be happy..."
<continuing the conversation from last week on the smell of a gas that escape from an alien egg.>
Smythe: "Well, actually, it might be important what the gas smells like...to a scientist."
G.M.: "Which you aint! Me telling you it smells like almonds doesn't fucking help you very much!"
Smythe: "But you can tell a lot from just a smell."
G.M.: "Okay...you take a whiff and go...Hmm....this smells like an alien virus."
Smythe: "And where is Sutton located" <flipping through sheets>
Maller: "He's listed under his dead wife..."
OcDugal: "Makes you wonder if he spends a lot of time UNDER his dead wife..."
<long pause....Maller shakes his head>
Maller: "You are a sick man..."
GM: "The alien egg opens up...and then...pfffft...<GM flaps his lips to imitate escaped gasses>
Smythe: "Great, we hatched a fart."
Smythe: "I wonder what it smells like?"
GM: "Does it fucking matter?!"
GM: "Okay roll Intellgence...."
OcDugal : "14..."
GM: "Okay...Special Abilities?"
Maller: "You have Perfect Pitch?"
OcDugal: "Nooo...I have Ambidexterity, High Pain Threshold..."
OcDugal : "Hearing Loss--"
GM: "Hearing Loss?"
GM: "Okay...forget about the roll then."
Maller: "That was a listening roll you needed to make and you didn't even get to make it!"
<OcDugal has been experimenting on the aliens, finally, it appears the experiment is a failure>
OcDugal : "I am so dissaponted...I was so ready. I so badly wanted to say, Oh my God! What have I done?"
<Later when the experiment breaks loose and aliens escape into the population...>
<The GM prompts OcDugal...who looks confused. The group looks at OcDugal...the GM waves a hand to prompt OcDugal again...>
OcDugal: "Ohhh..." <Totally deadpan> "Ahem. Oh my god. What have I done?"
GM: "You see, the word "shit" to a doctor may not mean shit...they may be meaning poly-dichloric-uephemal...Its a kind of egghead Ebonics"
Smythe: "Can we blow out the BioSpaceLab from the rest of the station?
GM: "Not without cutting a quarter of the station off with it..."
Maller: "So we can do it then."
OcDugal: "The critical brothers do it again!"
Maller: "Two graves, a small one that says RIP and a bigger one that says RHIP..."
<Totally blank looks from the GM and Smythe>
Maller: "Rank Has Its Privileges."
OcDugal: "Did your two faceless Marines just both role critical successes?"
G.M.: "Crap, I'm gonna have to make up names for these guys now aren't I?"
G.M.: "Okay, Privates Blake and Hammerson follow you..."
Maller: "Ah, do good, and you shall be blessed with names."
G.M.: "And "he" enters."
<Pointing to Captain Smythe, the new PC that has just joined...>
Maller: "Yes, time to break into character flawlessly!"
Prostitute (to Crowe): "Your check better not bounce....or we won't..."
GM (To Maller on Shoreleave): "So you have an idea where you are going?"
Maller: "I assume I know where I am going...or else I am at the beach."
Maller leaves to test new weapons at the lab...
OcDugal: "You gonna bring us anything?"
Maller: Yeah, I'll see if I can fit anything in my pockets..."
GM: "Is that a Mark 2 Smart Gun in your pocket or are you really, really, really, really happy to see me?"
Leaving OcDugal on a cliffhanger....
G.M.: Cut to Maller back at the weapons lab..."
MALLER: "Yes, cut to Maller.... FOOOOSSSSHHH! Weeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! WHUMP!!! Ooooooooooh!!!"
G.M.: "Am I that predictable?"
Maller: "No, but sometime, eventually, Crowe has to plummet..."
Crowe: "Maller? Who the fuck is Spears?"
Maller: "Don't ask..."
Crowe & OcDugal (Simultaneosly, same tone): "Maller? Who the fuck is Spears?"
Maller: "We had an altercation."
OcDugal: "Did you hit him?
GM (reffering to Crowe): "He's drinking coffee..."
OcDugal: "More like chewing..."
Maller: "You gave him gears and a shovel...of COURSE he's going to to put them together!"
Maller: "Did you hear that ship last night?"
Crowe (moaning from his injuries): "No, I was listening to my arteries knit back together..."
Maller: "The one with the heightened hearing and acute eyesight falls asleep..."
GM (to Crowe): "Okay, you have a chance for one more computer roll..."
Maller: "If you waste your last roll surfing for porn, I'm going to kill you."
Maller: "If you stab me, I won't take it well..."
Crowe: "I lead by example. Look here (when injured), I GO TO THE MEDICAL BAY. Don't get it? Let's do it again!"
Maller: "You're an example for us all..."
OcDugal: "I can get you to the hospital. Simply eat your own shit, it will get you so sick, you will puke and they will take you to the hospital..."
Crowe (dumbfounded): "I...HATE...MY...FUCKING...Anyone want to fill in the blank?!"
OcDugal: "Hey, its not easy to get up there...a broken ankle won't cut it..."
Crowe: "My metal pipe is saying I am NOT going to eat SHIT!"
GM (to Crowe in regards to the prison guards that have already sent him to the hospital once): "If they think for one second you are faking your illness, they are going to kick your ass..."
Crowe: "They’re out of our scanning range…so I’m sure they can tell what color our teeth are.”
Maller: “Paranoid much?”
A female commando NPC makes an engineering roll...
GM: “I just rolled critical success…”
Maller: “I’m glad she’s not currently trying to kick my ass right now…”
Crowe: “12” (bad)
GM (in character)-Clarke: “Jeez…on second thought, don’t help me.”
Crowe: “That’s what I said.”
Clarke: “Well, here's data...try not to lose it. Maybe you should hide on your body somewhere where no one could find it...”
Crowe throws and evil stare at Clarke--the same NPC who stole the last data disc from him...
Clarke: “Yeah, I’ll shut up...”
Crowe nods in agreenment.
Crowe: “For once, I am not the first one to fall…(fingers the sky)...FUCK YOU FATE!”
OcDgual: “It’s the Uber-cadets from Alexandria”
GM: “You have High-Pain Threshold?”
Crowe: “No, fuck you, I have Perfect Pitch!”
Now prisoners, Crowe falls after defeating a guard from a stitch round in the back. Crowe falls bleeding…
Crowe: “I’m down to negative nine.”
OcDugal (uncaring): “How’s the guard?”
Crowe: “Excuse me, I’m dying…”
Maller: “We’re busy having a spat, don’t mind us?”
Lang: "They had me sir. I should be dead..."
Maller: "They are sending a message."
Crowe: "Dammit! Next time, I want a stripper-gram!"
After Crowe fired a warning shot past her face, Elisa Clarke barely misses OcDugal firing a Plasma Cannon...
Elisa: "What the fuck are you doing?!"
On the radio with Elisa after she blew up a military vehicle she was driving...
OcDugal (Deadpan): "That was a lame ass explosion..."
Edgington (over the radio to Crowe): "So who's responsible for this?"
Crowe: "The Obladon"
Maller and OcDugal: "OBLAGON!"
Maller realizes he may have to jump from an APC roof to a truck rear end at 70 mph
Crowe: "Can you keep track of the truck?"
Maller : "That's Sutton's job. I've got to go be stupid. Seeya."
Rawlings: "What are we fighting for?
Zagadka: "Nude Arcades...
Maller: "...The right to exploit women..."
Crowe (telling a report to the other PCs): ...That is basically it...
Maller (out of character): "Tell us about the trash...that is the clue we need..."
OcDugal: "Why don't we fly the dropship in to draw their fire and the Deterrant can swoop in and take out the Ion Cannon..."
Crowe: "The Deterrent should be able to take one shot. Plus we would just send a missile. Long range, get their attention and use that as a diversion."
Maller: "Hey, how about we talk our way in?"
GM: "This guy just screamed at an alien and the alien flinched..."
Maller: "Yeah it went, Aaaaghhh!!! Crazy Irishman!!"
Crowe: "You Marine pussies..."
Maller: "I test the new range on my grenade launcher..."
<Ocdugal is cocooned in an alien Hive>
OcDugal: "I'm being mollested..."
Crowe: "Let me make this perfectly clear. Not my fuckin' fault."
Maller: "Yay, you."
OcDugal: "Sir, here's my list of requested parts, sir!"
(Maller read it over...there is one item)
Crowe: "What the FUCK do you need a Synthetic brain for!"
GM (to Crowe): "What are you doing?"
Crowe (pointing to Maller): Mansturbating in his sock drawer."
Maller: "Shows what you know, I don't have a sock drawer."
OcDugall makes fun of the common things the PCs say...
OcDugal (to himself): I'll rig something! (To Maller) I know a guy! (to Crowe) Not my fucking fault!"
Crowe: Maller, bend over, I want to try the new rifle."
Maller: "...As the lieutenant snaps..."
Crowe (to Maller): Seargeant, next time, capture an alien alive so I can test what sounds annoy them..."
Another Marine: "Go to hell."
Maller: "By the way, I'm going to each of my men and go, psst! Are you a spy?!"
Crowe (in a letter to his sister): "Dear sis. Not dead yet. Have a nice day."
Maller: "What we got to do is get you an alien skull and blow through it so you can mimic their call..."
Crowe: "Worst Fucking movie EVER!!"
Maller (to Crowe): " So...in a way...you are kind of GrantCorp's bitch"
OcDugal: "You corporate whore!"
Crowe: "Marines....Kill OcDugal..."
Crowe: "I say kill everyone."
Crowe: "I broke into Weyland-Yutani HQ and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt"
Maller: "Okay, you are going in behind a facemask..."
Crowe: "Got any antacid?"
GM: "You can pretty much have a computer
do whatever ther fuck you want it to."
Maller (to GM reffering to an NPC): "If I have confidence then I give him a pistol...<long pause>...When we're OFF the ship AND in COMBAT."
Edgington: "You guys going to Hilo?
What are your intentions?"
Crowe: "Hmm, what?"
<A spacecraft is about to crash into the building
the PCs are in>
Crowe: "How long to repair the ship?"
Crowe: "You can't blame me for this....the two-stroke dildo...fully accept responsibility."
MAY 12th, 2002
Dawn (Doctor): "I fancy myself an artist...by the way, I signed your heart..."
Crowe: "Yeah I guess not much time has
passed since this all started."
GM: "Xenobiology roll?"
MAY 2nd. 2002
Crowe (over the intercom): "Everyone
to the Mess Hall Hall for cookies and cake to celebrate the release
of our crew members from quarantine except for Griffon, of course, who
me be infected and die...Have a nice day!"
Dr. Ocdugal: "I've discovered this creature's
blood is an extremely powerful molecular acid..."
APRIL 29th, 2002
Logan: "After getting shot 16 times, you lose your sense of humor."
Maller: "I'm going to stop talking tech and go shoot something."
On an Ice World...
Crowe and Tara are in an alien spacecraft, hanging
off a cliff...
MARCH 31st, 2002
Crowe: “So if we do a mission on a rim-planet…would you call that a ‘rim job’?”
The next nine quotes all arose when the PCs and
a few NPCs went into a Brothel to acquire some information.
GM: “You see a variety of sexual machines
across the wall.”
Crowe: “Did you learn anything?”
(Lang opens the door)
Crowe: “How am I doing by the way?”
Maller: “How is Terry, by the way?”
GM: “You hear two loud thumps.”
Crowe (trying not to laugh): “Don’t
worry, man, go in there and have fun. I am sure the Sergeant won’t
bust your balls.”
Crowe: “Is she okay?”
Somerville: "What happened on Pandora?
Maller (PC): “This is the most interesting
session I have ever sat in…”:
Crowe: “I’ll work on the Dropship, get
the engine up to spec, lube it up.”
Crowe: Lets put it to a vote…who would want to officially rename the cat “bait”?
Crowe (to Hudson): “They had you in
a prison camp to?
GM: “Roll to hit.”
(Six marines train their guns on the smugglers…)
GM: “They have ECM and ECCM?”